One Girl's Nigh Out, two women friends had over-indulged on cocktails during their evening out. On their walk back home, they suddenly realized that they both needed to relieve themselves. They were very near a graveyard and one of the women suggested that they do their business behind a headstone. The first women had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. However, her friend was wearing an expensive new underwear set and didn't want to ruin it. Looking around, she was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath and used it according. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first women's husband phoned the other husband and said, "These girl's nights out have got to stop. May wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing," said the second husband. "My wife came home with a sympathy card stuck between here "cheeks" that said, "From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!"

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promised!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Just before 3:00 a.m. and a bit tipsy, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight." He didn't seem upset at all. Whew! I got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why? He said, "Well last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh ****; cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then tripped over the coffee table and passed gas.